Always aware that we have such a brief moment to breathe in this world and all it has to offer, I’m even more aware of how many forget to revel in simply being alive, as I watch so many get caught up in the dramas of their daily lives. I always need to remember to take a minute to truly enjoy a sunrise, to feel a cool breeze blow across my skin, to soak in the scent and taste of a favorite food, or to see the real beauty in a piece of art or an idea that I wished I had created, and so on.
I say this often, but I know what it is to have my external dreams come true. This is what drove my desire to find a way to help others know this same joy. But little did I know that despite my ability to paint pictures with words or made 3-dimensional spaces with sound, I was doing nothing more than clinging to a false reality that was driven by fear. I liked to say that I was unaffected by what people say about any of my external online world or me, but that simply wasn’t true. I thought I knew true joy, I always did my best to be as honest with myself as I knew how to be, and that, in a way, freed me to explore and enjoy the world around me in as many ways as I could imagine to do it. I was never afraid of failure (I know it well), and instead choose to live my life so that when I was on my deathbed, I didn’t ever find myself saying;
“What if i would have just tried…?”
This blog was, for many years, my beacon, sincerely believing that it was honest in its design, obvious in its intent. It was in a way, and remains mostly intact as a personal reminder of how deeply I could be convinced of a reality, how tightly and vehemently I could cling to something I thought was the truth about myself and the world around me, never realizing that my entire life was being guided by the child who was never provided the tools to navigate this world as a fully-formed, emotionally present adult.
Now, what matters to me most is MY PRACTICE. It’s the only section of my personal online world that I am focusing on and interested in updating. For now, below is an account of a critical “Breakthrough Experience” I had many years ago. It’s before I had a healthy mind and could fully integrate and understand what was happening to me. I explain it all in plenty of detail in the MY PRACTICE section.